Top 10 Quotes: Chuck Norris vs. Dos Equis Most Interesting Man In The World

Chuck-Norris-Motivational-Poster-Seal-Team-Six

Dos Equis Most Interesting Man In The World vs. Chuck Norris: A Battle of Quotes

My heart sank to my stomach.

When I watched this, I felt like the parents of a girl who just appeared on the Jersey Shore performing oral sex on The Situation in a restroom stall at a crappy Jersey Nightclub – Sad. Disappointed. A Failure as a human being.

Fortunately, it is not true. The Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World is NOT Dead.

As such, God exists. He promised more natural disasters, more pain, more sorrow, and more Sarah Palin “You Betchas”. He loves you. Even if he blackmails you into loving him back by threatening you with an eternity burning in hell… Talk about a crappy relationship, huh?

Anyways, this “close-call”, really put some perspective in me. Hence, I decided to honor the Dos Equis Guy, with his 10 best quotes, going head-to-head, with the 10 best Chuck Norris Facts.

You pick the winner. You pick the most awesome badass…

Quote #10

Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars. He was The Force.

Most Interesting Man in the World:

He is the only person to ever ace a Rorschach Test.

Quote #9

Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris doesn’t need Twitter. He’s already following you.

Most Interesting Man in the World:

He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.

Quote #8

Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris once arranged M&M’s in alphabetical order.

Most Interesting Man in the World:

If he were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume.

Quote #7

Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

Most Interesting Man in the World:

If he were to punch you in the face, you’d have to fight off the urge to thank him.

Quote #6

Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris has a website. It’s called the internet.

Most Interesting Man in the World:

If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.

Quote #5

Chuck Norris:

There is no theory of Evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Most Interesting Man in the World:

Every time he goes for a swim, dolphins appear.

Quote #4

Chuck Norris:

When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you can feel it.

Most Interesting Man in the World:

He speaks fluent French, in Russian.

Quote #3

Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi-truck’s gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Most Interesting Man in the World:

His blood smells like cologne.

Quote #2

Chuck Norris:

Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris swims through land.

Most Interesting Man in the World:

Sharks have a week dedicated to him.

Quote #1

Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad he’s never cried.

Most Interesting Man in the World:

Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact.

Dos-Equis-Most-Interesting-Man-World-Motivational-Poster

BONUS QUOTES:

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language.

Dos Equis Guy

When in Rome, they do as he does.

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